Getting socked in the Gut!

Let me start by saying - this weekend was hard. Actually this month in general has sucked. Okay as long as I'm being honest the suckiness began the moment I stepped off that plane from Costa Rica.

I feel like I keep getting socked in the gut. Each day more bad news. I'm actually getting used to the sick feeling in my stomach that never really goes away even when I'm watching the Office or admiring my "new friend".

This weekend I was supposed to go to Youth Workers Convention - which I love - but I made a financial decision instead of an emotional decision and didn't go. I should have gone - I really needed it but c'est la vie. I did however go down for the day on Saturday to see Dan, Becky, Lisa, and Kayla - who by the way socked me in the gut but it was inevitable (the silver lining to the dark cloud of a weekend was seeing all of you). I also got to see Melissa, Eric, and Josh - which was good for my soul. (Melissa just seeing your face cheers me up). I came home late Saturday night and did not sleep all night. I had the worst nightmares - my subconscious was dealing with what I hadn't processed yet. (if that makes any sense). I spent Sunday alone in fog trying to make sense of all I was being socked in gut with. Finally I talked to Aaron which gave me a bit of clarity (Aaron you are so good at speaking calm into my life - thanks my friend).

So . . . here I am on Monday morning staring at my computer and breathing in the nasty smoke that has settled over the coast (literally) and waiting for the next sock to the gut.